Eggs Among Ramblings

I watched my eggs boil yesterday.

I realize most sane people don’t watch their eggs boil, but hang with me. Growing up with a mom who practices skin care for a living, I was taught to stand over the steam when cooking to open up pores... (yet to see the benefit; sorry mom)!  As I hovered my head over steaming pot I peered and pondered. I watched armies of bubbles emerge from microscopic holes, marching hurriedly to the surface line by line.

For reasoning I cannot currently recollect, the change occurring inside these eggs struck my mind. Their outward appearance remained unchanged while the inside was actually completely transforming. As the heat rose on stove, what was liquid and contained solely by shell became of different substance, solid and firm. Their external circumstances shifted their internal being permanently. Though they appeared to be the same in shell as before their tasty transformation, they just were not!

“Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine. When Jesus wraps this all up, it's your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of his victory. You never saw him, yet you love him. You still don't see him, yet you trust him - with laughter and singing. Because you kept on believing, you'll get what you're looking forward to: total salvation.”- 1 Peter 1:7-9

So, we’re like eggs, right? 

When the heat is up in the kitchen of our lives, we change. We just have to! When the chef of our life is preparing us for this eternal meal... (yeah?.. no?) the work is going on inside of us friends. The outside might not always seem to change.. aka our world might not immediately change around us, but that does not mean God is not at work within us, COMPLETELY transforming our state of substance. He firms us through fiery things, and tests us through steamy stirs. But he might not always do this by changing everything about our lives externally!

“Each person should remain in the situation they were in when God called them.”
-1 Corinthians 7:20

I’m learning that He uses my everyday job, my marriage, and my Murfreesboro to make massive changes inside of me. My “status” does not always present monumental changes publicly. He hasn’t called me across country our across state. He has called me to my neighbor, and an inconvenient client. He’s called me to my husband, and my church, the lady at the gas station, and muslim lady walking in my neighborhood. God changes us where we are, calls us as we are, and makes us something we could never be with out him!

I rushed over to write this in my journal, and as my husband woke up I shared with him my incredible discovery... to which he thought .... I married a crazy woman.

Then I ate my eggs :).

Eggs Among Ramblings

My Soul Says...

Wonder-filled, and wide awake
Watching here, I will stay & wait
You won't delay, you won't run late

My God, You are near

Tired, turned, timid I come
I ask that You, in Power, deem them undone
To renew, refresh, and empower me in love

My God, You are nearer

Each step I take, you guide & teach
When I think I'm failing, in strength You reach
My weakness warrants waves of grace
In You I hide, my Refuge Place

My God, Draw me near

In turbulence I trust You
You match my mind and heart in prayer
When darkness lies to my face in stare
You fight for me, You, Jesus, Prevail

My God, Draw me nearer

Oh Lord I will not give up
I will not end this fight
I will push for you
You have won my life
............................................................................................................................

From wilderness to wonder
From wavering to won
Your wreckless love changed my wrestled state
For You this race I will run

My Soul Says...

Signed, Sealed, Delivered

As I was reading in Psalms the other day, the word “deliver” jumped off of the page to what seemed two inches from my eyeballs. An impression was made on my heart by our sweet Jesus, who reminded me that this word has more than one meaning. As my brain recollected several definitions of this word, I sought out the second best tool next to the bible... google :). This word tangled me, and left me undone all at once. God spilled some of His heart for His people through google that fine morning. I wanted to share what I feel He led me to through several of the meanings of this word.

#1. Deliver: to bring and hand over to the proper recipient or address; save, rescue, or set free from.

This first meaning is enough all on its own. This is who God is, dear sister. He is our Deliver, who made a way for us (Psalm 70:5). He created us for himself, and though we chose the world instead, He would not confine us to it.  So reaching down from on high and taking hold of us, He drew us out of deep waters (Psalm 18:16). “He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son” (Colossians 1:13). He literally transferred us to His address, our proper home, His designated design. He sent his Son to bridge our gap and rescue us. His blood for our guilt. His comfort aside, our souls revived, brought to life. From dry bones, and hard, stubborn hearts to love-struck and rescued. Out of our wreckage into his righteousness. All of Him for all of us. My Savior, Your Father, Our Deliverer. THE coolest. The HOLIEST.

#2. Deliver: provide (something promised or expected).

So He brings us into his family, and He does not disappoint. He fulfills everyone of His good promises, and they are indeed GOOD, PERFECT, & TRUSTWORTHY. He brings forth what is sent out from His mouth, and it does not return void, “but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it” (Isaiah 55:11). He DELIVERS us free, and DELIVERS what He says He will. He shows up... Faithful every time, in His time. This hope is our anchor.

#3. Deliver: assist in the birth of.

And once He saves us from sin, and ourselves, and helplessness... once He comes through, He shows up & shows out, protecting and providing...He invites us to join Him! He instructs and informs, orchestrating our involvement in this Kingdom building. This life-saving, wretch-rescuing wonder-filled adventure of rebirth. We assist in shackle shaking, and surrender ourselves as vessels to His soul searching, and we are tools. We are more than tools, we are active ingredients! He sets our stories beside others who need His light, who need His life, who long for more, who want to be restored...He holds our right hand, and shows us what it’s like to be sold out and all in to this thing. We see new life emerge, and His beauty falls afresh on our hearts, and we receive life in bringing others to THE Life.

So we follow... we will follow, Jesus. We will bend down, knees touching ground to wash dirty feet, and we will race after the raped, dirty, guilty & broken down. We will follow you, Jesus. We will assist in the birth of this delivery of life... out of captivity and into freedom. Out of the darkness, and into the light where we belong with you. We will expectantly await You to Deliver on your Promises, because you Delivered us Jesus in our helpless state, and He Delivered us! You Delivered Me! You have Delivered souls before my eyes, and you will Deliver the world ultimately and forever. We won’t miss this! Send us! Send us.

Signed, Sealed, Delivered

I did not get what I wanted, and I was mad.

I didn't get what I wanted, and I was mad about it.
My request (while specificity is disclosed) was totally logical! It was not a bad request, quite the opposite in my mind! I saw the benefits, had thought about what the outcome would be, and in my stubborn heart decided it would happen.

Since it was good to me, it must be God's will, right?

For the third time at least, I conversed with my husband over the topic. (He is my ever present voice of reason).  His continual disapproval made me feel like he did not understand, and did not care! That bitterness built in me, and I proceeded to let it out in every woman's sincere form of communication, tears (he totally makes fun of me for this now ;)).

"But why not?" I petitioned, "But it's a good idea! But I want it!"

The next day we discussed the subject, with more words than tears (more patience too).  He was right. This idea that I had deemed so good, was not something the Lord had for me right now. It wasn't best for us. It was not going to solve the dilemma. I was still didn't like it, I still wanted something different, but I felt God speaking through my husband as a safety guard to guide me. And the Lord whispered to me alone, too.

My thoughts are not your thoughts, sweet girl. My ways are not your ways (Is.55:8). I have a plan to use what you don't like about this situation to make you more like me. I am cleansing you of an impurity of selfish desire/selfish gain, and I am putting my will and my desire in you! 

The Lord is calling me to faith to trust him in obedience. To trust Him with the things that make me uncomfortable, and know that He is good. A sweet song on my pandora reminded me... I'm a good Father, and I have been doing this for a while now.

Let us come before him with trust in our hearts! With surrendered wills, because I don't understand. And with tears in my eyes right now, I don't like it! But I know that the Lord is up to something good. I have seen Him move, and I know He will again! He sees your situation, and He has not turned a blind eye to you. Walk with Jesus, and know you are not alone. God has a good plan for a hope and a future for us (Jer. 29:11).

"Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy spirit, who has been given to us." - Romans 5:3-5

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you." - Psalm 32:8

I did not get what I wanted, and I was mad.

Exodus studies

This one was written for women in my life group- so replace their name with yours! Glad we are in this together. Thanks for reading! I pray the Lord blesses you through it.

As you can tell, I’m reading Exodus :). I love the stories of people first experiencing God. They possessed less information about the Living God, but experienced first hand who He was for themselves. We see such raw reaction in their awe, stubbornness, and repeated repentance. So many behaviors that I know I can relate to in my relationship with The Lord!

A section stood out to me today which I wanted to share with you, sweethearts of mine!

During this part of the Israelites journey, the people have been led by God, through Moses, from location to location in the desert. They have grumbled against the Lord, demanding His provision, and they have seen His kindness in response. When they thirst, He made what was bitter bearable. When they hungered, He invented a totally new food (Um, awesome?)! But this morning their leader, Moses, poked out of the pages to me.

 In ch 18 Moses’ father-in-law comes to visit (while the beauty of miracles is overwhelming, I love the normalcy of that). The two visit, dine, and marvel at the work of God. On his extended stay, Jethro is invited to Moses’  weekly routine. Once a week, from sunrise to sunset “Moses took his seat to serve as judge for the people ” (v13). Moses had direct connection with the Great I AM! What a responsibility he held for those around him. What joy, and what pressure I could imagine. “Whenever they have a dispute, it is brought to me, and I decide between the parties and inform them of God’s decrees and instructions,” Moses explained to Jethro (v16). (OMG!)

Jethro spoke the way only a family member can when he informed Moses, “What you are doing is not good. ....The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone” (partial verses 17-18)

So Jethro advised Him to share the burden with those who were deemed as God-fearing, trustworthy men around him. A lesson in itself is that Moses accepted the advice of his father in law ;). But what I hear in my heart when I read this, is that we can’t do it alone my sweets. God does not intend for us to! Oh how we can bare the burden of each other and lift these requests up to the Lord shoulder-to-shoulder. I am so thankful the Lord has given me YOU, Jessie, and YOU Michelle, and You Dana, Ashley, Annie, ALL OF YOU to walk along side me, encourage me, and spur me on towards Jesus. But some days, I need a hug, some days, you do too. And we are here for that. God has provided it for us!

“If you do this and God so commands, you will be able to stand the strain, and all these people will go home satisfied” (v23).

I love you girls so much, let’s always go home satisfied with the Lord!

Also... “Then Moses sent his father-in-law on his way, and Jethro returned to his own country” (v27). There is a time for everything, right? Lol ;).

Exodus studies

Seeking beauty

As I was wooed by my Father this morning, I felt Him showing me the beauty He has created in me. Vanity was not on the menu, rather a beauty that is pure and refreshing. I kept seeing my hands and seeing the details and delicate parts of my fingers. The depths of design that are held within the smallest parts of us are made by Him, and He cares for each. This morning my heart melts in awareness that beauty is something to bring Him glory. If you live in my town, you have probably seen the acres of sunflowers planted by the interstate. I have seen so many posts about them, pictures with them, and can hardly keep my eyes on the road as I drive by them! We are drawn to beauty, and it isn’t shallow or negative. Beauty is given by God, for glory to God. It reminds us of His love for us! From the tips of our toes (yes, yours included!) to the flowers in the field. Beauty is part of who God is. Ask Him to show you the beauty around and in you. He designed it, and will proudly direct you <3

Seeking beauty

I lift up my eyes to the mountains...

It's morning as I type, and the snow is stirring in the clouds this morning. Thank you, God for gifting us with even the gushiest of snow and ice, because You birth it from the heavens (Job 38:29).

I wanted to share a simple statement that carries power to humble us, to change our view of ourselves and our circumstances. When I face an issue, big or small, it is my tendency to envelop myself completely in that cause. I struggle to get out, I struggle to see past blurred brain waves, and I exhaust in confusion.

I wrestle with God, and am thankful that he wrestles along. Allowing me to work out what's in my heart, calling me to not throw in the towel, and loving me wholly along the way. (BTW be encouraged that it's ok to wrestle, friends. It means you're pushing forward, you're giving effort, you're taking heart!) The thing about wrestling is, it cannot last forever. Not because lack of endurance or strength of our Almighty Lord, but because we are weak, we are lacking, we exhaust. That is the most beautiful part, the exhaustion, because it is there we see who has been sustaining us all along.

Last night my mind felt exhausted. As I opened up the bible to finish the so very calming, bed-time tragedies of Job.... I strangely found what it was I sought. After reading through Job's wrestling to hold on to God throughout one loss to the next attack, "the Lord spoke to Job out of the Storm" (Job 38:1), and beckoned him to remember who He Is.

 "Who shut up the sea behind doors when it burst forth from the womb, when I made the clouds its garment and wrapped  it in thick darkness, when I fixed limits for it and set its doors and bars in place, when I said, "This far you may come and no farther; here is where your proud waves halt'?"
 - Job 38:8-11
                                   
The Lord's message continues for a couple chapters as God points to his strength and wisdom
throughout creation. His care and concern is even for the bear with its cubs (38:32). God called Job to lift his eyes out of what he was facing, and to God's magnificence, what was "too wonderful for me to know" (42:3).

It's strangely sweet how God works on our behalf, hemming our steps behind and before, and speaking across time and space as to let us know He was here and there before we had even breath to breathe. A sweet friend gave me Psalm 121 printed on paper and stuck with pretty washi tape as encouragement recently. I stuck that sucker on my dash, and have been reading it over and over throughout the past couple weeks....

"I lift up my eyes to the mountains-- where does my help come from? My Help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth...." When my original idea for a painting at my church was already in progress by another artist.. this message came to mind. For 7 hours I painted these words, and God pressed them in my heart last night. "Lift your eyes to Me," He calls us, loves.

Job's response was humility. He heard God's words, and excalimed "My ears have heard you but now my eyes have seen you" (42:5). He repented for speaking when he did not understand, and God blessed him. You see, I am trying to wrap my stubborn brain around the fact that I do not have to understand the inter-workings of it all... in fact, I cannot! Whether you're facing tragedy, attack, depression, ANYTHING... we cannot solve the equation, sweet ones. Only God can do that, and did! Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. He paid all we owe, he "figured" it all out on the cross, and we are called to lift our eyes, open our hearts, repent, and trust.

So let's start with the lifting, especially while we have some snow at which we can gaze <3

I lift up my eyes to the mountains...

If Phoebe wrote hymnals

Oh my long awaited Jesus

What grace that livens this sore soul

Morning glimpses of you carry

Me from fears and pains of old

Precious mercy, undeserving 

my soul will ever sing your praise

Through each suffering, you're refining

molding beauty from old clay 

Each new journey brings new glory

Each rough patch still prunes my praise

How could a canvas with out folly

Show your craftsmanship displayed

If Phoebe wrote hymnals