I did not get what I wanted, and I was mad.

I didn't get what I wanted, and I was mad about it.
My request (while specificity is disclosed) was totally logical! It was not a bad request, quite the opposite in my mind! I saw the benefits, had thought about what the outcome would be, and in my stubborn heart decided it would happen.

Since it was good to me, it must be God's will, right?

For the third time at least, I conversed with my husband over the topic. (He is my ever present voice of reason).  His continual disapproval made me feel like he did not understand, and did not care! That bitterness built in me, and I proceeded to let it out in every woman's sincere form of communication, tears (he totally makes fun of me for this now ;)).

"But why not?" I petitioned, "But it's a good idea! But I want it!"

The next day we discussed the subject, with more words than tears (more patience too).  He was right. This idea that I had deemed so good, was not something the Lord had for me right now. It wasn't best for us. It was not going to solve the dilemma. I was still didn't like it, I still wanted something different, but I felt God speaking through my husband as a safety guard to guide me. And the Lord whispered to me alone, too.

My thoughts are not your thoughts, sweet girl. My ways are not your ways (Is.55:8). I have a plan to use what you don't like about this situation to make you more like me. I am cleansing you of an impurity of selfish desire/selfish gain, and I am putting my will and my desire in you! 

The Lord is calling me to faith to trust him in obedience. To trust Him with the things that make me uncomfortable, and know that He is good. A sweet song on my pandora reminded me... I'm a good Father, and I have been doing this for a while now.

Let us come before him with trust in our hearts! With surrendered wills, because I don't understand. And with tears in my eyes right now, I don't like it! But I know that the Lord is up to something good. I have seen Him move, and I know He will again! He sees your situation, and He has not turned a blind eye to you. Walk with Jesus, and know you are not alone. God has a good plan for a hope and a future for us (Jer. 29:11).

"Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy spirit, who has been given to us." - Romans 5:3-5

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you." - Psalm 32:8

I did not get what I wanted, and I was mad.

Exodus studies

This one was written for women in my life group- so replace their name with yours! Glad we are in this together. Thanks for reading! I pray the Lord blesses you through it.

As you can tell, I’m reading Exodus :). I love the stories of people first experiencing God. They possessed less information about the Living God, but experienced first hand who He was for themselves. We see such raw reaction in their awe, stubbornness, and repeated repentance. So many behaviors that I know I can relate to in my relationship with The Lord!

A section stood out to me today which I wanted to share with you, sweethearts of mine!

During this part of the Israelites journey, the people have been led by God, through Moses, from location to location in the desert. They have grumbled against the Lord, demanding His provision, and they have seen His kindness in response. When they thirst, He made what was bitter bearable. When they hungered, He invented a totally new food (Um, awesome?)! But this morning their leader, Moses, poked out of the pages to me.

 In ch 18 Moses’ father-in-law comes to visit (while the beauty of miracles is overwhelming, I love the normalcy of that). The two visit, dine, and marvel at the work of God. On his extended stay, Jethro is invited to Moses’  weekly routine. Once a week, from sunrise to sunset “Moses took his seat to serve as judge for the people ” (v13). Moses had direct connection with the Great I AM! What a responsibility he held for those around him. What joy, and what pressure I could imagine. “Whenever they have a dispute, it is brought to me, and I decide between the parties and inform them of God’s decrees and instructions,” Moses explained to Jethro (v16). (OMG!)

Jethro spoke the way only a family member can when he informed Moses, “What you are doing is not good. ....The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone” (partial verses 17-18)

So Jethro advised Him to share the burden with those who were deemed as God-fearing, trustworthy men around him. A lesson in itself is that Moses accepted the advice of his father in law ;). But what I hear in my heart when I read this, is that we can’t do it alone my sweets. God does not intend for us to! Oh how we can bare the burden of each other and lift these requests up to the Lord shoulder-to-shoulder. I am so thankful the Lord has given me YOU, Jessie, and YOU Michelle, and You Dana, Ashley, Annie, ALL OF YOU to walk along side me, encourage me, and spur me on towards Jesus. But some days, I need a hug, some days, you do too. And we are here for that. God has provided it for us!

“If you do this and God so commands, you will be able to stand the strain, and all these people will go home satisfied” (v23).

I love you girls so much, let’s always go home satisfied with the Lord!

Also... “Then Moses sent his father-in-law on his way, and Jethro returned to his own country” (v27). There is a time for everything, right? Lol ;).

Exodus studies