My request (while specificity is disclosed) was totally logical! It was not a bad request, quite the opposite in my mind! I saw the benefits, had thought about what the outcome would be, and in my stubborn heart decided it would happen.
Since it was good to me, it must be God's will, right?
For the third time at least, I conversed with my husband over the topic. (He is my ever present voice of reason). His continual disapproval made me feel like he did not understand, and did not care! That bitterness built in me, and I proceeded to let it out in every woman's sincere form of communication, tears (he totally makes fun of me for this now ;)).
"But why not?" I petitioned, "But it's a good idea! But I want it!"
The next day we discussed the subject, with more words than tears (more patience too). He was right. This idea that I had deemed so good, was not something the Lord had for me right now. It wasn't best for us. It was not going to solve the dilemma. I was still didn't like it, I still wanted something different, but I felt God speaking through my husband as a safety guard to guide me. And the Lord whispered to me alone, too.
My thoughts are not your thoughts, sweet girl. My ways are not your ways (Is.55:8). I have a plan to use what you don't like about this situation to make you more like me. I am cleansing you of an impurity of selfish desire/selfish gain, and I am putting my will and my desire in you!
The Lord is calling me to faith to trust him in obedience. To trust Him with the things that make me uncomfortable, and know that He is good. A sweet song on my pandora reminded me... I'm a good Father, and I have been doing this for a while now.
Let us come before him with trust in our hearts! With surrendered wills, because I don't understand. And with tears in my eyes right now, I don't like it! But I know that the Lord is up to something good. I have seen Him move, and I know He will again! He sees your situation, and He has not turned a blind eye to you. Walk with Jesus, and know you are not alone. God has a good plan for a hope and a future for us (Jer. 29:11).
"Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy spirit, who has been given to us." - Romans 5:3-5
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you." - Psalm 32:8
No comments:
Post a Comment